The refs’ blown call during the packers-seahawks game last night, or the fact that more people care about it than the fact that our Republican Presidential Candidate doesn’t understand why we can’t open windows on an airplane…
this has been an interesting week in the life of mateo...
first off, my workload is ridiculous…but i absolutely love it. kinda.
if all i had to worry about was work and grad school, i’d be fine, but it turns out i’m in line for another promotion (insert shit-eating-grin here :D) and the training courses are all of next week. between training, working my actual job, and going to school at night, i’m just afraid of wearing myself out. it also doesn’t help that the state-mandated tests i have to take just so happen to be the day after my first mid-term. wonderful.
aside from all that, i really do thoroughly enjoy being back in school. i missed the environment of a college campus. granted, ramapo is incredibly different from hofstra—we get bear warnings now, as opposed to “shots-fired-at-popeye’s” warnings—but it’s a nice change of pace from the constant “professional” (i use that term loosely) work environment i’ve grown accustomed to over the past year.
i do love my job, though. i’m incredibly close with the people i work with, and i think that’s what makes it such an enjoyable working environment (for me, at least.) the other day, my boss was joking around with me having so much on my plate this week, and she ended the conversation by saying, “make me proud.” it’s just nice to have that kind of working relationship with my superiors.
it’s also nice/refreshing to know i still feel some type of human emotion. i really kinda stopped feeling…well…anything. it’s been strange. things that used to really piss me off just kinda ran off my shoulders. things that would once make me ecstatic would just have very little effect on me. i don’t know how it happened—maybe from being in a constant state of “work-eat-sleep-repeat”—who knows. anyway, the other day, a woman came in to remove her husband from her account because he passed away died (sorry, professor goodman). he was only 55 years old and died of lung cancer. when it came down to the part where i needed his death certificate, i felt incredibly awkward. here i am, asking this grieving widow for the piece of paper that says in finite black and white “certificate of death”—this official document that this poor woman has been carrying around with her as she handles her husband’s estate, which only serves as a reminder that her husband is dead. when i went to ask her for the certificate, she had already started reaching for it in her bag before i finished my sentence—she clearly knew the drill by now. when i told her i’d be right back as i faxed the paperwork to the back office, she smiled and made mention that i had pronounced her last name correctly. “no one ever pronounces it right.” …i didn’t know what to say to her. i smiled and told her i’d be right back. i went to the fax machine, which happens to be in our break room/kitchen, and the first thing i did was sit down at the table, take off my glasses, put my hands over my face and just sit there for a good minute. no tears. no sobs. i just sat there and thought about how this poor woman was on her own from this point out. i thought about how life can be truly unfair, and how there’s never any preparing for this ultimate worst-case scenario. mortality is always a heavy topic to deal with, but that’s usually not the case when it’s not someone you know who died / was affected. but this time, it was. that spark of humanity i had way back when…it’s nice to know it hasn’t disappeared completely.